Dreamt of you again. I didn’t physically see you, but you were there. Ewan ko ba, pati sa panaginip ko sinasaktan mo ko. Kelan kaya kita makakalimutan? Yung tipong “I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore…” Kahit anung gawin ko, I still love you. Hirap naman nito. Ayaw na nga eh pero nandyan pa din. Gulo noh?I’ll get over this soon. SOON! Need to pray harder.
Sometimes I wish I have all the answers to my questions. Questions like, “why do this have to happen?”. I love asking that, all the time. I thought that maybe, if I know the reason, it would be easier for me to accept and move on. But my friend once told me that if I have all the answers, then why is there need to pray and ask for God’s wisdom? Then I thought of this verse, Hebrews 11:1 NIV “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Then FAITH comes to the picture. FAITH is believing on what is unseen. FAITH is when you still believe even if there are questions left unanswered. I know that all of the things happening now will make sense, in God’s time. One thing is for sure, God wants what’s best for us. He loves us so much that He doesn’t want to give us the second best. :)
I have loved you for so long now, guess have to let you go… It’s hard but I know I will make it through. Me and my family have to move on with our lives without you. They loved you as much as I did. They have always wanted you in our family, so I don’t know how to tell them that you will never be. I wanted to still wait, but I will just continue to hurt myself. Now, I am really hurting because I can never have you. But only God can heal my heart. I have to move forward. I have to prepare for the person God has planned for me. I want to give him my whole heart, without part of it with your name. Time will come that all of this will make sense, questions will answered, and what if’s will all be gone.
bongga! ako na ang super busy nung weekend. wwwoooohooo!
saturday:
-bonding with JAM Kids builders and coaches
-ushers briefing at our new home The Axis :)
sunday:
- JAM Kinder service
- ushering
- dinner with my LG
- instant shepherding (1st meet up with my sheep, Jem)
Thank you Lord for the productive week. You are indeed my strength! Next week ulit! ^_^